Friday, June 12, 2009

Friday Funnies


Heavenly Voice Mail

Category : Heaven and Hell Jokes
Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following:

Thank you for calling heaven.

For English press 1
For Spanish press 2
For all other languages, press 3

Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all others

I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

God, press 1
Jesus, press 2
Holy spirit, press 3

To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his social security # followed by the pound sign.

(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666)

For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3 16.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.

Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow.

The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.

Thank you and have a heavenly day.
FOR MORE FRIDAY FUNNIES CHECK OUT HOMESTEADER'S HEART HERE.

6 comments:

The Real Me! said...

OH WOW! That is soooo funny. I had never seen this before. LRHOTIBMKASA!
HAPPY FRIDAY to you!
Kim

Darlene said...

HEY GIRL!!! How are you? I am still behind on reading blogs but I am praying for your family!

This is funny!
Have a FABULOUS Friday:)

Deborah said...

I had to share this one with the gals in the office. Too funny. So glad there's not a 800 line for God.

Thanks for your encouragement on my post about writing. I plan to share soon, maybe today (depending on how busy my 800 line is)the idea behind the story. It deals with a military family, in the Navy. I would love your input as an army wive.

Under the Florida Sun said...

ROFL!!! Too funny!!!

Just stopping by via the Friday funnies!!

Cute blog home you've got here!

Tell your DH that this family in Central Florida TRULY TRULY appreciates all that he does and sacrifices for our country!! And that goes for you and your family too.. we know you all sacrifice a lot too!!

I had fun watching some of your videos. I bet your DH loves watching them from wherever he is!

Blessings!
Mikki

June said...

i am so glad we do not have to use these instructions, when we need prayer. He is just a thought away

June

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

I needed that chuckle!
Have a great weekend.