Surreal

Surreal...How else to explain the first few weeks of deployment. It feels like I am walking in a fog. Today I found myself wandering around the commissary without even glancing at my list. I have been down this road before and the feeling never changes. Until Dominic is safe on the ground, settled in, and able to shoot us an e-mail here and there, I know this feeling will hang around. I plan on it being different every time but it never is. It's hard getting used to being by myself. I have the kids, but it's not the same. No more listening for the van to pull up front at night, no more "I love you" texts during the day, and no more impromptu lunches. If the hubby was here I know just what I'd text..."How bout that sun Eyore?" I call my hubby Eyore because when it comes to weather he only likes sun and we live in WA, need I say more. I tease him about it all the time. Anyway that's what I would text him. He would of course text something amusing back, but for now I will have to wait. His last text was from McChord AFB last night as he loaded the plane. Tonight I will take over all the stuff that dad likes to do. It will be the first time I drive 20 minutes to Lacey to take my son to youth group. His dad always gets home on Wednesday night by 6:30 to drive him, no matter what, even if he has to go back into work. It will be strange, but it will be my job. Until he returns things will be like looking through glass, but I know he is trained well and will do his best to keep him and his soldiers safe. For now, we will survive.